desigol1979

It arrived to my House by Post on Tuesday and had an interesting story from a Man in OA. He believed that it was ‘Socially Acceptable’ for a man to have a ‘Beer Gut’ and that men were expected to eat and drink loads when in the company of other men. Also mentioned were the difficulties in forming a relationship with women who weren’t in recovery. He also discussed wanting to be the ‘Hunter’ in life.

It was, by all accounts, an interesting article which I, as a man, can relate to. The old ‘Men are from Mars, women are from Venus’ is particularly true. Male perfectionism involves being ‘The Man’ as opposed to Female perfectionism being about reputation and shame. My issues with forming a relationship with women are rooted in being too individualistic; which in turn has hampered my previous jobs.

Tuesday Night’s meeting discussed Step 4. I have been procrastinating for too long now.

After some wrangling with Gran we eventually agreed on a new Car on Thursday, bringing it home on Friday.

I’ve been relatively calm over the time. The program has helped me deal with situations like these. I’m lucky to be alive. And lucky for this program.

I’m am much better now than what I was this time Last Year.

When I was driving home from the A29 Car Wash outside Cookstown, after leaving my Brother in the Town to be with his mates, I say SIX Magpies fly out of a Tree!

6 = For Gold.

This side road I discovered through my Neighbour taking me to work at Derryloran Industrial Estate, nearby the Roundabout, 3 Years ago when I was still taking lessons.

I’ll have to add her to my gratitude list if I do get Money.

On Tuesday Morning I was involved in a Car Accident with Gran in the Passenger Seat. However we were looked after well by our Garage who gave us a Cup of Tea when we arrived. At the Hospital we were told we weren’t seriously injured and to just take Paracodols; which we do already.

Then the following day, after I received my curtsey car, TV repair men came to install Digital TV into my room. They said we needed a new Areal as the old one; over 30 Years Old; was leaking due to corrosion. Gran said afterwards, “That must’ve been God’s doing!”

It’s funny how something good comes out of an awkward situation. The 12-Step program really has been a Godsend for me.

Back from my Tuesday Night meeting in Dungannon. The topic was abstinence, which I am slowly but surely achieving. This has been the third day in a row I’ve only eaten three times a day. In spite of the chaos in my House; Gran’s new Bed arrived today and we had to shift beds here there and everywhere; I am turning to my HP as opposed to food.

I also discussed my resentments with my Sponsor today. Fortunately enough she lives on the road towards Dungannon, so I was able to make a quick Beeline for the meeting. She gave me a good bit of encouragement, with the saying, “Face your stuff! Don’t stuff your face!”

Also, my new Job will start in a couple of weeks time. Next Wednesday I have to go to Belfast for a discussion with the Board in that Charity. We agreed that I could park my Car at Castledawson Roundabout and get a lift to Belfast. I’ll not focus too much on the new Job as overemphasising the joy of finding a Job would make me lose focus of the now. I was that way inclined before and soon after I was hired, I was fired. This job will be different.

Things are working out. Thanks to the Program.

With love in the fellowship,

Des.

Today you might notice a change in yourself, dear Cancer. You might look in the mirror and see that you suddenly look as gorgeous as a movie star. This change in your outer self is due to transformations taking place within. You’ve probably been releasing a lot of old traumas from the past, and therefore considerable stress and tension has vanished from your face. Treat yourself to some new clothes! It’s a great time to do it!

When I arrived home from my Autism Leisure Group the post arrived. With it came a letter about Tax; addressed to my Brother. This, as it always does, sent Gran dolally. He also wanted to go to the Cinema Tonight, so I booked a Taxi Home for him as it was over a Whole Hour after my Spanish Class ends.

I have to remind myself how grateful I am for the 12-Step Program. Just prior I had read Today’s article from Hezelden’s ‘24 Hours a Day’. It reminds us that we need a good inflow and outflow. Today is All Souls’ Day when we remember the Dead. I’ll remember my Mum and Dad and how they would want me to start as I mean to go on.

Regards,

Des.