desigol1979

It went well. Though the Bus from Toome Bypass; where I parked the car; was delayed due to Friday Afternoon Traffic in Derry and was delayed even further by the Belfast Rush Hour, I got round to the meeting.

Another thing I had to contend with was the fact that the Chair of the meeting rang me on my mobile and her number was withheld. It was a nightmare trying to remember the Phone number. Took me several attempts due to interruptions at the Bus Station. But once I remembered the number I managed to contact her okay.

The meeting itself was a bit different from Dungannon and Armagh, but I suppose no two meeting can be exactly the same. The reading was about Tradition 6 and each member had to read a section of the Chapter. Again it was unorthodox in my eyes, but I enjoyed it nevertheless.

After saying the Serenity Prayer at the end the other members wrote down their phone numbers for me. Very nice of them. I also was given the security code for the door.

All in all a good experience. Though Gran did get annoyed at me going to Belfast I think she’ll come round eventually.

Regards,

Des.

I have texted the Woman who organises those meetings. I said I would get a Bus from Dungannon, though having studied the Timetable I think getting the Derry to Belfast Bus at Toome Roundabout is handier; it’s the most frequent service in Northern Ireland.

I’m saying this as I’m not attending tonight’s meeting in Dungannon. Though I’ll compensate by working on my Step 4 Inventory further. The Sunday Night meetings in Armagh are better for me as it’s earlier, the Armagh group is mainly the same people who attend Dungannon.

I’ll wait to Tomorrow before mentioning this to Gran as our Cleaner will be here in the Morning. She is a star. I know her Brother as well from socialising in Ballyronan.

No doubt I’ll enjoy the Belfast meetings too.

Regards,

Des.

The end of British Summer Time brings in the longer nights and turbulent Weather. I just hope and pray that I don’t lose focus at this time. I have a meeting tomorrow and I am planning to start my Inventory soon.

Saw ‘Couples Retreat’ Tonight at Dungannon Cinema. Very Funny, especially when the Son of Vince Vaughan’s character went to the Toilet on display. It has been a good Year for Comedy Movies, having already seen ‘The Invention of Lying’ and ‘The Hangover’.

I’m happy at the moment. Things are going smoothly. Hope it continues that way.

Regards,

Des.

Yesterday my Local Gaelic Football Club were beaten by a last minute Penalty in the Tyrone Final. I am every cliché in the book now.

Situations like these would’ve made me dive into Food, but this time all I had afterwards was a Chinese; as a Meal; and a Cup-a-Soup. I didn’t feel too sorry for myself afterwards. Now I can dust myself down again and focus on Today, with my Autism Support Group and Spanish Class.

*Asks my HP to get me through Today*

Regards,

Des.

There are forces working in your favor, dear Cancer, that you should be sure to latch onto and take advantage of. You will find that your sense of duty and planning is paying off in a very positive way. You will find that you are able to check quite a few things off your list today. Think before you act and take a time out to rest and regroup if you need to.

Having returned from my Counselling session I do need time to rest. Also phoned a few mates from OA about my Relapse over the past few days.

One of the contributors to Overeaters Anonymous Second Edition described the 12-Step Program using the aforementioned expression. The miracle is there for all of us to see, we feel better when we attend meetings and when we pray to the Higher Power. Sometimes the simplest of things can make such a difference.

At times during my life I had taken leftover food from other people’s plates. That was the extent of my disease. I never felt satisfied; physically, spiritually or emotionally; and the life I had was one of isolation as I was ‘different’ from all the other kids.

My main problem has been accepting others for who they are. Perfectionism has been a major factor in my life. Having Asperger’s Syndrome made me have little rituals and habits, with severe punishment by myself if I didn’t meet my unusually high standards.

Also, I was Sexually abused as a Child. This was probably the trigger of mental instability and resentment. I hadn’t a clue what was being done to me, and certainly didn’t know it was wrong. My view of Sex during the Teenage years was distorted.

Also codependency featured over time. Having to be the male role model for my Brother after my Father’s death placed unwelcome responsibility when I was younger. Over time I developed a resentment towards my Classmates having siblings only a few years younger, or older, than them. They were ‘normal’ kids and had normal childhoods. I was thrown in the deep end of life.

When I got older I found it hard to find employment, then when I find it I’m fired not long after. Getting the ideal job proved too much of a burden. Following my dismissal in January 2007 I threw myself at Job opportunities the way some young Single Women throw themselves at Men. Then I was left as Carer for my Gran after my Mother’s death. It’s a ‘handling’, as we say in Tyrone, but it was my handling.

After dealing with those situations, my supposed faith in God wasn’t really put into practice. It wasn’t until joining Overeaters Anonymous that I really felt the benefit of having a Higher Power. Having studied the concept of a loving Higher Power I came to view my Mum as my Higher Power, looking down on me from Heaven. Her guidance over the Years has helped me at times, and continues to do so spiritually. My Higher Power does for me what I can’t do myself. I pray seeking guidance over my whole life.

Since joining Overeaters Anonymous I have done more than simply lose weight, I have sorted out my inner turmoil through prayer and guidance. It’s not perfect, but I’ve learnt to accept imperfection. To err is to be human. Another thing imperfect is abstinence itself, though it hasn’t gone as far as relapse yet. Just need to remember to take it one day a time.

The miracle of the Twentieth Century has carried on 10 Years into the Twenty-First. As the old saying goes, “Stop dieting, start losing weight!”

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the lessons life taught me. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. When in Doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. Pay off your credit cards every month.

You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. It’s okay to get angry with God. He can take it. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.

Make peace with your past so it won’t destroy the present. It’s okay to let your children see you cry. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

Everyday is special. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

Always choose life. Forgive everyone everything. What other people think of you is none of your business. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. Believe in miracles.

God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. The best is yet to come. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

More than likely there was at least one time in your life in which you felt like the ugly ducking, dear Cancer. Perhaps this had something to do with your body weight. Whether this feeling of insecurity or self-consciousness was self-imposed or not, it is time to rid yourself of such thoughts and feelings. Today is a day to love yourself – every bit of yourself. Have pride in your body – inside and out.